Building Confidence; It’s a Mindset

Published on July 17, 2012, by

Many people don’t realize how crucial self-confidence is to all of their interpersonal relationships.  Your personal level of confidence can affect all of your interactions with others.


It can affect what you say, how you say it, whether or not people believe what you have to say, and whether they choose to act on your advice.


Your self-confidence affects not only your personal life, but your career and love life as well.  When you are self-confident, you appear more attractive to others, and not only will you enjoy more success, but you will be more well-liked, which will further increase your self-confidence, and perpetuate the cycle.


Some people believe that self-confidence is something innate, and that you are either born with or without the ability to be confident.  However, this is incorrect; it is possible to increase your self-confidence, and there are many different exercises for confidence-building which can be extremely helpful for those who need to improve in this area.


The most important step for building confidence is to think about the positive aspects of your life and your personality. Many people focus on the negative; they see what they dislike about themselves, or what they want to change, and instead of seeing their flaws as challenges which can be overcome, they view them as curses which will affect them in perpetuity.


Instead of focusing on the negative, start thinking about the things you like about yourself.  Your positive attributes can be physical, mental or emotional.  Do other people view you as a good listener?  Are you good at a particular sport or activity?  Do you frequently receive compliments about a certain feature?


Think of the aspects of your personality which make you feel proud, or which other people choose to compliment; if necessary, make a list.  This will help you to pay more attention to the positives, and make constructive criticism and your awareness of your own flaws more tolerable. Instead of seeing them as insurmountable obstacles, you will begin to realize that you can change the things you don’t like, and that you have more good qualities than bad.


The next step for confidence-building is to change the way you think.  People frequently develop bad habits in the way they think, and these habits often involve negative thoughts.  Try to avoid using words like “always” and “never”; they are unrealistic, and set you up for failure.


If you find yourself saying things like “Clients never like my ideas,” or “I always cheat on my diets,” you are making sweeping general statements which, in all actuality, are not correct.  There are exceptions to every rule, and if you feel that there is one area in your life where you fail more frequently than you succeed, try focusing on the times when you did meet your goal, or fulfill your obligation. Not only will you feel better about yourself, but you may be able to see a trend with your successes, and learn how to repeat them in the future.






InspireHappy has developed an iPhone app called the Attitude Tracker that helps you keep track of your thoughts and feelings so that you may steer them to a  happier, more positive direction to help you build your confidence so that you may live the kind of life you always dreamed of!






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